Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Not much better

Tuesday 27th November 2007

Why is it that when you think things cant get any worse, they do. I found out today that I will only be getting 1 day off this week (which I already had on Monday) and am expected to do in excess of 53 hours work this week, without getting paid for it. I must have mug written in bold across my forehead, for I didn't protest or make any comment.
What's wrong with me, unless I speak up, I'm going to keep getting shat on, but I can't seem to fulfil this requirement when I am put on the spot.
SO, I spend the night drinking can after can of Carling and stumbling into bed in the small hours of the morning and then waking up at 7:00am for work, not remembering how I got there. God knows what I am doing to my health, and deep down I know too! I just can't kick the habit. Its not that I'm an alcoholic, I don't think about drinking one iota in the day, but as evening approaches and boredom and depression set back in, that's all there is to keep me occupied. As usual I feel trapped and at a loose end, I'll feel the same tomorrow when another 12 hour shift kicks in, and again on Thursday and Friday. There must be something in the workers rights which stipulate something about working 7 12 hour shifts without a break in between, and, if i knew where to look, I'd be reporting these set of avaricious tossers!

Monday, November 26, 2007

An Introduction

This is just a blog to get all my depressed feelings out in the open world.

I need some outlet to get rid of it!

I can't go on like this for much longer. I'm in a job I hate, still live with my parents whom I also near enough hate for the way they treat me. You know the whole father son thing of getting your first car. Well, needless to say that never happened with me. I passed my test 3rd time lucky, but no father/son bonding like this ever took place, this was 3 years ago.

My younger brother, however, passed his test first time round, and so mummy and daddy dearest go out and get him his first car and pay for his insurance. When they told me they had got him a car, I felt like I had been stabbed through the heart, let alone the back!

Add to the fact that I am a loner with no friends or people who could give two shits about me, I think this says it all. At 20 years of age, I think I am entitled to jack my dead end job in, without my shitty parents telling me they'll kick me out if I do. Well fuck them! They let that tosser of a brother of mine at 17 years of age do what he likes, and let him talk to me like shit infront of other family members, with no intervention.

No one's ever shown an interest in me, is it because I'm ugly and wear glasses? I shoudn't need any tosser to get me a car, but they've made me into the confidence lacking wreck that I am by constantly putting me down and telling me I'm no good.

My job's as equally depressing as these twats are. I seem to be working 7/7 well 6/7 at the moment if I'm truthful, whereas other employees keep getting there 3 days of a week as so are working 4/7.

I mean, for example, I haven't had a day off since last Tuesday 20th Nov. I had a day off today, and now I'm back to the shithole tomorrow until Thursday. Let alone I'm not getting paid for this. I'm owed it! WHAT A CROCK. If I was a normal person, I wouldn't stand for this, what is wrong with me? I just keep putting a front on, but I'm cutting up inside.

I've no friends, so no social life, no love interest, no one that takes an interest in me, the people that do just treat me like a freak. So where do I go from here?